Feelings are not facts
My dad passed away last week. I saw him in the hospital, sedated with tubes etc. It was not the man I knew. But, despite what I felt, which was many different things, I didn't pick up a drink.
Today, I am terribly sad. But, I will not drink. I have learned in recovery that my feelings are just that. Life moves on whether I am happy or sad. If I drink, do I change my reality? No. If I drink today because my heart is heavy, will my dad return? No. Will I mess up my life and the stability I have managed to bring to the lives of my children? Yes
And so, I say, "this feeling will pass". There is an expression that used to be written on the black board of a meeting I attended in Manhattan. "Nothing is so bad that a drink won't make it worse". For me, it is good to remember that, lest I think a momentary reprieve will alter anything. It won't. And so, I don't drink and try to keep it green for myself.